You know that voice in your head you hear when you’re contemplating whether or not you should do something? The one telling you “OH sure, have that 3rd margarita, it’ll be fun!”…that’s a form of your self-talk. Self-talk is what we tell ourselves everyday and how we justify doing something; or more importantly, justify not doing something. Unfortunately, our self-talk seems to default on the conservative side and convince us that we shouldn’t try new things, or attempt feats seemingly “too difficult”. Let’s talk about why reframing our self-talk could be the single-most important game changer you make towards achieving success!
By nature, our self-talk will err on the side of safety; physically safe by not running a mile as fast as possible (how uncomfortable!), and emotionally safe by not expressing our true feelings on a first date. But maybe you go all-out on that mile and discover you’re much faster than you thought. Maybe you tell that first date she seems genuinely funny, smart, and caring; and you really like that about her. She values honesty, and you just sealed a long-lasting relationship! See what I mean?
Opportunities for success don’t often come from playing it safe, and they hardly ever come from staying in our comfort zone.
In order to achieve what you never have, you’ll almost always need to do what you’ve never done. It’s how we grow into our greatest potential. And because you won’t always have someone around to remind you of your amazing qualities that make you more than capable of success…it’s up to you. We have to be our own cheerleaders; talking to ourselves in a more positive, and optimistic frame. Otherwise we’ll stay static, living in a state of self doubt to remain safe and comfortable.
I promise you that you’re capable of more than you think.
But how you speak may play a bigger role in your day to day activities than you think. Psychology studies have confirmed, here’s an article discussing them, that the distinction between telling yourself “I can’t” vs. “I won’t” has profound significance. “I can’t” shuts down all possibility for success; you’ve just determined it physically cannot happen, no matter what you do. The power to achieve success is essentially out of your hands and you’re off the hook (convenient, right?). But how often is that truly the case? “I won’t” means you could, but you’ve made the decision not to. The power and control remains in your hands. You’ve also reinforced the belief in yourself and in your capabilities (**confidence).
Our self-talk is what we tell ourselves hundreds of times per day, whether we’re aware of it or not.
Does yours tend to be like most, and tell you reasons why you can’t do something? Imagine if your confidence was reinforced by a positive self-talk that told you “I can” and “I will” hundreds of times per day. Now add to your new found confidence all the success you’ll have from the numerous opportunities that’ll become available. Sure, you won’t always succeed 100%. But guess what; you learned from it, became better for it, and can walk away with your head high because you tried! THAT is the difference between people who are successful and those who give up. It’s how we talk to ourselves, our perspective of things and situations.
Start reframing your self-talk and telling yourself “I will” or “I won’t”. Start making it a point to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. Things that you never thought you’d be capable of. I’m willing to bet you’ll surprise yourself, but I can guarantee it will make a positive and lasting impact on your life!
Nature Genie Holistic Health Coaches can help guide your self-talk reframing process. Click here to learn more about our coaching services.